A carefully curated collection of crap.

I’m switching back to levothyroxine

After two years of taking natural desiccated thyroids (NDTs), I’m switching back to standard medication for hypothyroidism: levothyroxine. Read on to find out why. (If you want the TL;DR version, then here it is: I’m switching because I think my… Continue Reading →

Searching the dark web for levothyroxine

I have hypothyroidism and need to take medication for it every day. I usually get a prescription for levothyroxine from the doctor, but I want to know if there’s an easier or cheaper way. So I’m going to search on… Continue Reading →

The “Call (076) 888 8443” scam

I saw a dodgy pop-up today. I found its complexity beautiful. It was a work of art. In fact, I like it so much that I’m going to describe each aspect of it in obsessive detail.

How many rooms should an escape game contain?

This is a post I wrote for, which was a website I planned to fill with posts about escape games. Kind of like an online magazine for escape rooms. However, I gave up on the project after writing just two posts. FML.

UV lights and UV paint in escape rooms

This is another post I wrote for This post is all about UV torches. Yay!

New laptop (2016)

No-one will care, but I bought a new laptop a few weeks ago. Yes, I BOUGHT A NEW LAPTOP! I’m getting hard just thinking about it. My penis always gets rigid when I buy a new laptop. I buy one… Continue Reading →

Schär Gluten Free Salti crackers review

Six years ago, I started a gluten-free and dairy-free diet. Since then, all my biscuits, pizza, pasta, bread, and cake have been shitty gluten-free imitations of actual food. Recently my girlfriend said I should put my expertise to good use… Continue Reading →

2016: My year in numbers

This post contains statistics about my year. Find out how much I spent, how many countries I visited, and even how many supermodels I slept with. (Spoiler: the answer to that last one was ‘none’.)

Where are the towns and dungeons in Lego Worlds?

I really really want to find towns, cities and dungeons in Lego Worlds. I don’t know why. I know it would make me orgasm all over my laptop screen though. At the time of writing this post, Lego Worlds is… Continue Reading →

I found Bigfoot in Lego Worlds

I’ve been playing the early access version of Lego Worlds for a couple of days and today I found Bigfoot. I’m excited, despite being a 29-year-old man. I googled “Lego Worlds Bigfoot” to see if anyone else has found him and… Continue Reading →

One second of every day of 2016

Here’s a vain and boring video of one second of every day of my life during 2016. (To be honest, I only recorded 249 days. I couldn’t be arsed to film any more.)

Shitty poem I wrote aged 9 about daffodils

Because it’s Christmas or something, here’s a shitty poem I wrote at the age of 9.

Beyond the Bookcase: Short story I wrote at the age of 9

Here’s a short story I wrote at the age of nine. I unwittingly wrote it in the style of Dan Brown: the sentences are clumsy and the plot doesn’t make sense.

Making a PDF from multiple image files

I have 38 PNG files that I need to merge into a single PDF. I’ve tried several ways so far and all have failed. Who knew such a basic task could be so complicated? Here’s the problems I’ve encountered so… Continue Reading →

Hargreaves Lansdown vs Legal & General – which is cheaper?

I invest in unit trusts through two brokers: Legal & General and Hargreaves Lansdown. But which is better? From a cost perspective, Hargreaves Lansdown is the winner. That’s because Hargreaves Lansdown offers the same unit trusts for a cheaper price…. Continue Reading →

My savings

As far as I know, my peers have no savings. They’re living paycheck to paycheck like that red-headed bitch from Friends. But not me. I’m a saver. I save mainly because I’m scared of being homeless. In fact, homelessness is… Continue Reading →

I wrote a Kindle ebook about a dystopian future with Trump as president

As featured on <a href=””>Kindle Cover Disasters</a>, “Hillary and Harambe save the world” is a book I wrote: The plot shows exactly what will happen if Donald Trump wins the election on November 9th. Using meticulously researched data, I demonstrate… Continue Reading →

Photos of graffiti in Montreal

Montreal is a special place. It’s dark, subversive, and yet gayer than a swan riding a rainbow. This is reflected in the city’s graffiti. Here’s some photos I took of graffiti in Montreal. I’ve divided it into six categories: creepy… Continue Reading →

Photos from previous Halloweens

I’m a fan of Halloween, but unfortunately I don’t have many photos to prove it. Here’s seven photos I managed to find.             That’s all until I can be arsed enough to write some original… Continue Reading →

Fuck off, The Retirement Shop – stop cold-calling me!

A company called The Retirement Shop keeps cold-calling me. I don’t like being cold-called, so now I’m calling you, The Retirement Shop – I’m calling you out for your annoying phone calls. They call me about twice a week. They seem… Continue Reading →

Fuck off, birthday notifications from Skype and Outlook Calendar

Recently Skype has been sending me notifications about people’s birthdays. I don’t give a shit about people’s birthdays and I don’t need Skype to remind me about them. Well, I found a way to turn off these reminders. In Skype,… Continue Reading →

Nara Dreamland DEMOLITION from Oct 2016 to Dec 2017

In this post I’ll provide news about the demolition of Nara Dreamland. Yes, that’s right – Nara Dreamland is being demolished. What happened? Afer the park closed in 2006, urban explorers could roam the decaying park to their hearts’ content…. Continue Reading →

Can I disable Aliexpress’s autotranslator? Answer: No

I like Aliexpress for two reasons: 1) it’s cheap like eBay, and 2) it has user reviews like Amazon. But what I don’t like about Aliexpress is its shitty automatic translations of reviews. Here’s some examples: the fabric Is gross It’s a… Continue Reading →

My favourite songs – Part 2

Once again I’m listing my favourite songs. They include the modern-day classic ‘Peanut Butter Jelly’, whose video features the braless beauty shown in the picture above. Excuse me while I drool a little…

Excerpts from my diary (2015-6)

22nd March 2016: I keep seeing groups of alpha males. They have perfectly coiffed hair and the kind of bodies that evolution has wet dreams about. In comparison I look like a chav planning to steal someone’s luggage.

Misremembered ramblings about Trudy’s Time and Place House

In the 90s, my friends liked Power Rangers, He-Men, and Thundercats. I liked an alligator in a pink dress. Her name was Trudy, and together we took LSD. The following is based on a true story. The events have been changed, but… Continue Reading →

Short stories by me and my siblings, circa 2003

Here’s three stories written by myself, my sister, and my brother, circa 2003. They’re parodies of franchises like Mario and Pokemon: franchises that are overbearingly upbeat, carefree, light, and fluffy. But don’t worry, because each story also has a hint of darkness… Continue Reading →

Humourous poll I made in 2003: Are YOU a religious nutter?

Hello. This is God speaking. Yes, I know, you didn’t expect God to be the host of this poll. Well I am, so there.

Video: This is not a touchscreen laptop

In 2013, I wanted to buy a touchscreen laptop. I searched and searched and searched but I couldn’t find one in my price range. And when I did find one I liked, I read a comment on Amazon that simply… Continue Reading →

My trip to Nara Dreamland, an abandoned theme park

During my three-month stay in Japan, I went to an abandoned theme park called Nara Dreamland. According to, the park opened in 1961, six years after the opening of Disneyland in California. The park’s castle was blatantly a rip-off of… Continue Reading →

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