The shit blog of Paul Chris Jones

I was threatened with a knife and almost froze to death

3rd January 2014 Paul Chris Jones

Here's an MSN conversation I had with a friend about my two scariest experiences while drunk.

Me: ive never seen anything bad happening in brum

Lauren: mm

Me: there was one time i might have been mugged tho – but i was really drunk and can hardly remember it!

Lauren: :(

Lauren: are you serious paul?! bloody hell

Me: i was walking back to campus bout 2am on my own, n on broad st i remember telling some guy that i wasn’t scared of him!

Me: then his girl said something like ‘you should be’, n i was scared he had a knife so i walked off quickly

Lauren: omg

Lauren: :-O

Lauren: you taking the piss?!1

Lauren: shit

Me: i got back ok but during the walk back i was scared

Lauren: mm, i bet

Me: i discovered i had a cut on my finger the next day, but i don’t know if that was from falling into bushes or something!

Lauren: hm

Me: and my wallet was empty of notes, and i’d had like £60 at the start of the night, but i suppose i could have spent it all on drinks! but im not sure

Lauren: clean ccut?

Lauren: oh hell

Me: just a small one, i don’t think he cut me, but i still dont know where it was from

Me: after that ive been more wary of being in brum at night

Lauren: mm

Lauren: more than 4 I’d say

Lauren: pl

Lauren: ppl*

Me: sorry?

Lauren: more than 4 ppl or you aren’t safe

Me: yeh well u cud still get into a fight with another group of people

Lauren: mm

Me: the worst night out ive had though i thought i seriously thought i was going to die!

Me: too many thoughts there

Lauren: that was when the guy with the knife was about, yeah?

Me: no this was a different night

Me: i was reeeeeeeally drunk and left the club alone and without my coat, and i ended up walking for about 3 hours – in the snow – looking for the campus!

Me: and i had walked somewhere else entirely, and i just couldn’t find anywhere familiar

Lauren: oh god

Me: n i remember giving up, and i tried opening doors of some places but they were locked, so i sat in a corner and tried to get warm

Lauren: oh dear god

Me: it was snowing so it must have been about -5 degrees celcius

Lauren: why the hell didn’t you call a taxi?!

Me: i was drunk so i wasn’t thinking right

Me: didnt have any taxis phone numbers anyway

Me: i think i thought about calling my parents but i was afraid theyd be ashamed of me

Lauren: o god

Me: in the end i came across someone – i hadn’t seen anyone else in ages – and it turned out to be a prostitute! i asked her where i was and she dialled me a taxi on my phone

Me: she even offered to ‘warm me up’ but i said i just wanted to get back to my flat

Lauren: rofl

Me: and when i got back i was really happy

Lauren: lol, I bet! ha haq

Me: i had really thought that i was going to die…

Lauren: mm

Me: freeze to death or something

Lauren: uh huh

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Paul Chris Jones is a writer and dad living in Girona, Spain. You can follow Paul on Instagram, YouTube and Twitter.