Melodramatic thoughts about diabetes

God, I feel like shit. I didn’t sleep much last night. As soon as I got into bed, I knew I wouldn’t be able to sleep well. I got perhaps 4-5 hours’ sleep. It’s been a while since I’ve had insomnia like this.

I know what caused it too. It sounds stupid, but it was a drink made from cranberry juice and vodka. It was the sugar in the cranberry juice.


You see, I’m certain I have some form of diabetes. I sound like a hypochondriac, and my girlfriend always says the same. But last night, I just wanted to go home, so I could drink water. I didn’t mention it to anyone, but thankfully, my girlfriend felt ill from having eaten too much, so we went home early. All I wanted to do was drink glass after glass of water. After that, I had to get up to go to the toilet twice during the night – plus I was thirsty throughout the night. Getting up at night to go the toilet is something I haven’t had to do since I started eating a low-carb and low-sugar diet back in February.

Here’s what’s happened so far, basically:

  • Aged 19 – Went to Lloyd’s pharmacy for a diabetes test. Told I was prediabetic and I should stop eating carbohydrates. I ignored the advice.
  • Aged 26 – Had an epiphany that the general shittiness I was feeling was because of diabetes. I bought a blood monitoring test. There were a few high results, but most were normal.
  • A doctor in England told me I don’t have diabetes.
  • I stopped eating carbohydrates and sugar. I noticed I didn’t feel thirsty so often or go to the toilet so much.
  • Aged 27 – A medical test in Canada showed I have prediabetes.

I get the impression that in England, with the doctors, they don’t care, they see me as a hypochondriac, as wasting their time. I would have to be on all fours, crawling into their office and dying for them to help me. They don’t show an interest in doing further tests; they just do the minimum amount of work possible.

Blood glucose results from a test in Canada. My result is 5.6. The normal reference range for the test I did, a fasting test (à jeun), is 3.6-5.2.

I’m thirsty now, god damn it. Right now, it’s the morning after that one cranberry juice. I’m gorging myself on water – scarily, the thirst is only diminishing slowly. The amount of water required to make up for that one cocktail is absurdly disproportional – I’ve drank perhaps ten glasses of water since I had that one cocktail.

I told my girlfriend about diabetes and she didn’t believe me. Then I showed her the results from the doctor’s test. She looked concerned for a second, then realised that I only have prediabetes. “Prediabetes – it doesn’t mean you have diabetes”, she said, smiling. Yes, but prediabetes always leads to diabetes unless something is done. I read that 75% of people with diabetes die from heart issues.

This on top of the hypothyroidism that I found out I had a few weeks ago, and for which I’m now taking medication for. I wonder if the drugs are making the diabetes more pronounced?

I need to buy some more diabetes test strips so I can monitor my blood sugar levels. They’re $80 for 100 strips.

God damn shitty genes.

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