Hello. This is God speaking. Yes, I know, you didn’t expect God to be the host of this poll. Well I am, so there.
1. Right, first off, an easy question. Do you believe in God?
- Of course.
- I’m a satanist and believe in the gothic powers of the ‘Dark Lord’.
2. Why do bad things happen to good people?
- There must be some evil in this world, or else we would not know what is good.
- It’s just the way things are.
- I’m a satanist and believe the Dark Lord punishes all those not under his power.
3. Who is God?
- God has no shape or form, he only exists.
- Satan’s retarded younger brother.
4. Did you know that the world is not actually flat, it is instead a sphere?
- Don’t know, I can’t understand the question.
- Yes, I read about it in an atlas.
- The world is as the Dark Lord wills it to be.
5. And, finally, what is the ‘Meaning Of Life’?
- To make God happy.
- There is no meaning in life, we are only on Earth a short while before we die.
- To fulfill the whims of Satan.
6. What did you think of this exciting and unbiased poll?
- It was exciting and unbiased.
- This poll is the meaning of life.
How did you score?
- Mostly a’s. Bad news I’m afraid: you are religious. But don’t worry, we can find you a 2-piece jigsaw puzzle to complete.
- Mostly b’s. Congratulations, you are an atheist.
- Mostly c’s. The bad news is that you are probably the anti-christ. But at least you’re not Christian.