I like Aliexpress for two reasons: 1) it’s cheap like eBay, and 2) it has user reviews like Amazon. But what I don’t like about Aliexpress is its shitty automatic translations of reviews. Here’s some examples:

the fabric Is gross


It’s a shame that the fabric was “gross”. I’m assuming there was a shit stain or something.

the fabric Is strongman


So now the fabric is a circus performer…?

I bought son for the pool.


I’ll admit, I never knew that you could buy family members on Aliexpress.

let the bears


Wait – what does “let the bears” mean? Let the bears do what? Does the swim cap attract bears? Is there a way I can defend myself?! For the love of God, tell me!

pleasant to the touch, thin, hot! yes


Uh… maybe you want to get a room?

Do you see what I mean? These reviews are nonsense. Ideally, you should be able to turn off the translations so you can see the reviews in their original language. However, I couldn’t find any option to do so. So it seems we will just have to put up with it and let the bears.