A company called The Retirement Shop keeps cold-calling me. I don’t like being cold-called, so now I’m calling you, The Retirement Shop – I’m calling you out for your annoying phone calls.

They call me about twice a week. They seem to prefer to mornings, which suits me fine because I’m asleep and have my phone on silent.

Here’s the date, time and number of each call so far:

Date Time Phone number
4 Oct 2016 11:50 00 44 20 3318 3823
7 Oct 2016 16:15 44 20 3318 4664
13 Oct 2016 15:36 44 20 3318 4664
14 Oct 2016 10:55 00 44 20 3868 7111
21 Oct 2016 11:31 44 20 3318 4664
26 Oct 2016 10:27 00 44 20 3868 7111
27 Oct 2016 13:19 00 44 20 3868 7111
28 Oct 2016 12:48 00 44 20 3868 7111

That’s eight calls so far. You would have thought that they would have gotten the hint by now that I’m not interested.

The first conversation

My first conversation with them went something like this:

Woman with Australian accent: “Hello there, is this Paul Jones?”

“Er, yeah… speaking.”

“Hi Paul, I represent an organisation who help expats with their pensions. I notice you’re living in Dublin now. Paul, I would like to organise a phone call with one of our pensions advisors. What time of day is best for you? Morning, afternoon, or evening?”

Unfortunately I’m British so I was too polite to hang up. “Er… afternoon, I guess,” I admitted.

“Thank you. And can I ask you about the details of your pensions in the United Kingdom? Are you part of any pension schemes?”

At this point I mustered up enough courage to hang up. I know that it wasn’t very British of me, but I’m an expat, so the normal rules of British politeness no longer apply to me.

The last conversation

They last time I spoke to them, I asked who they were. The caller, this time a soft-spoken Englishman, explained he represented The Retirement Shop, a company that specialises in overseas retirement. I asked him how they had obtained my details. How did they know I was in Ireland? Was it from my LinkedIn page?

“Yes, it was from LinkedIn,” he replied.

Liar! I haven’t updated my LinkedIn page in years. I know how they obtained my information. It was from Legal & General or Hargreaves Lansdown. You see, two weeks before the first phone call from The Retirement Shop, I told both brokers that I had moved to Ireland. I know it’s no coincidence that The Retirement Shop started calling soon after.

The solution

The solution is to block all The Retirement Shop’s numbers on your phone. Simple.

Let me know in the comments if The Retirement Shop has annoyed the fuck out of you too.