No-one will care, but I bought a new laptop a few weeks ago. Yes, I BOUGHT A NEW LAPTOP! I’m getting hard just thinking about it.

My penis always gets rigid when I buy a new laptop. I buy one every three years. This time I splashed out by spending £699 (usually my budget is only £300). I bought it from Amazon.co.uk.

By the way, the laptop came a different processor to the one I ordered. The laptop was supposed to come with an Intel Core i5-6300HQ, which runs at 2.30 GHz. But instead it came with the superior Intel Core i7-6700HQ, which runs at 2.6 GHz. Basically, Amazon fucked up and sent me something better than I’d paid for.

How does the laptop compare with my previous laptops?

Here’s a table that compares all the laptops I’ve owned so far:

Model Year bought Price State RAM ROM Processor Number of cores
Toshiba Equium A100-027 2007 ? second-hand 1 GB 73 GB 1.6 GHz 2
Acer Aspire 5734Z 2010 £299 refurbished 3 GB 310 GB 2.3 GHz 2
Toshiba Satellite C850-1LQ 2013 £299 refurbished 8 GB 750 GB 2.3 GHz 2
Lenovo Ideapad 700 2016 £699 new 12 GB 1000 GB 2.6 GHz 4
Model Toshiba Equium A100-027
Year bought 2007
Price ?
State second-hand
RAM 1 GB
ROM 73 GB
Processor 1.6 GHz
Number of cores 2
Model Acer Aspire 5734Z
Year bought 2010
Price £299
State refurbished
RAM 3 GB
ROM 310 GB
Processor 2.3 GHz
Number of cores 2
Model Toshiba Satellite C850-1LQ
Year bought 2013
Price £299
State refurbished
RAM 8 GB
ROM 750 GB
Processor 2.3 GHz
Number of cores 2
Model Lenovo Ideapad 700
Year bought 2016
Price £699
State new
RAM 12 GB
ROM 1000 GB
Processor 2.6 GHz
Number of cores 4

As you can see, I got my first laptop in 2007 and it had a whopping 73 GB of disk space. Nowadays I need more than that for just my porn.

Every three years since then I’ve bought a new computer. It’s become a tradition. It’s also because my laptop runs slow as fuck after three years. It’s probably all the porn and viruses slowing it down.

Does Moore’s law hold up when it comes to RAM?

According to Moore’s law, RAM and hard drive space should double every two years. Let’s see how Moore’s law holds up to real life. The table below shows the RAM of my laptops compared to the RAM expected by Moore’s law. (Sorry if it seems like I’m shouting RAM all the time.)

Year RAM of my laptop at the time Expected RAM according to Moore’s Law
2007 1 GB 1 GB
2008 1 GB 1 GB
2009 1 GB 2 GB
2010 3 GB 3 GB
2011 3 GB 4 GB
2012 3 GB 6 GB
2013 8 GB 8 GB
2014 8 GB 11 GB
2015 8 GB 16 GB
2016 12 GB 23 GB

As you can see from the table, Moore’s law says my new laptop was supposed to contain 23 GB (which would have been rounded up 24 GB, because RAM is usually an even number). All I got though was a measly 12 GB. What the fuck, Moore? And this wasn’t my fault. I shopped around, and all the laptops are like this.

What about Moore’s law and hard disk space?

RAM is important for running software but disk space is even more important because it’s for storing porn. So let’s look at the disk space in my laptops so far.

Year Hard disk space of my laptop at the time Expected hard disk space according to Moore’s Law
2007 73 GB 73 GB
2008 73 GB 103 GB
2009 73 GB 146 GB
2010 310 GB 206 GB
2011 310 GB 292 GB
2012 310 GB 413 GB
2013 750 GB 584 GB
2014 750 GB 826 GB
2015 750 GB 1168 GB
2016 1000 GB 1652 GB

As you can see from the table, Moore’s law is fairly accurate here. However, the law says my new laptop should have come with about 1,500 GB of disk space, not 1,000 GB. It seems like computer advancement is slowing. Yet according to Wikipedia and Moore himself, Moore’s law will end around 2025, and it shouldn’t be slowing just yet.

So basically, my new laptop is powerful, but not as powerful as expected. My dick’s suddenly gone soft.