One of my favourite adverts is from 1993. It’s for Jacob’s Iced Gems.
It all starts with a boy and a girl in a kitchen. I can already tell what you’re thinking, and no, there’s no sex or anything like that. There are drugs however.
The kids pop some drugs in their mouths. They grin, their pupils dilate and they fly off on a psychedelic drug trip. See, I told you there were drugs.
Drug trips are weird and this one is no different. The kids have a shared hallucination of a polar bear. Instead of mauling them to death, this bear explains that he’s fucked up and lost the ‘white iced gems’.
I wonder if ‘white iced gems’ is a euphemism for cocaine? The kids must like cocaine because they agree to help the bear.
The kids explore a forest, a castle, and a fair. There’s gems everywhere, but it’s a pain in the arse because none are white.
I’m beginning to think this advert is a bit racist. Where are the black iced gems? No-one cares that they’re missing too. No, all anyone cares about are the white iced gems.
Just when the bear is about to kill himself and take the two kids with him, the boy looks up and finds the white iced gems.
The iced gems are high in the sky. Another thing that’s high is the kids.
Presumably the two kids then wake up from their hallucination to find themselves lying on the kitchen floor, covered in ther own sweat, shit, piss and vomit.
If you can’t believe that was a real advert, then you can watch it yourself below:
Seriously though, I love this advert. I love the dreamlike mood. I love the idea of being transported to another world, where everything is warm and fun, where sweets grow on trees and you can go on funfair rides as much as you want. I even like the sound effects and the animation style. So thank you, Jacob’s. Just lay off the drugs for a while though, eh?