Fuck you, poorly-designed Ticketmaster website

I recently bought tickets for a Lady Gaga concert. Ticketmaster haven’t mailed me the tickets yet and now I’ve moved address. This means I need to tell Ticketmaster my new address. Simple in theory, but incredibly difficult (and annoying) in practice. I’ll show you every annoyance I encountered.

  • Update Delivery Address box doesn’t work
  • First, I found a box on the Customer Service page that says, “Update Delivery Address”. Aha! This is the option I’m looking for.

    But when I clicked on the box, a wall of text appeared. Goddammit, I just want to change my delivery address, not read the fucking Iliad.

  • The Contact Us button opens an FAQ
  • I skimmed the wall of text and found the relevant part. It read:

    Just hit the Contact Us tab above, choose Change of Address as the category and be sure to fill in all of the fields.

    So I knew I had to find the ‘Contact Us tab’. I found what seemed to be it. It says ‘Contact Us’ so this must be it.

    But when I clicked it, another another wall of text appeared! Oh god no!

  • There’s a second Contact Us button on the same page
  • It turns out I was meant to click a different Contact Us button on the same page:

    So there’s two boxes that say ‘Contact us’ and only one is the real one. This is turning into the quest for the holy grail.

  • Sometimes the Contact Us button goes missing
  • Usually the Contact Us button is near the top of the screen, like here:

    But right now, as I’m writing these words, the buttons look like this:

    So where the hell is the Contact Us button? I have no idea where it went. To find the answer, I looked at the page source. It turns out that the Contact Us button is still there in the code, but now it has a class called ‘oculted’, which I suppose means ‘hidden’.

    So it seems Ticketmaster hides the contact button when they don’t want to deal with customers anymore.

  • The Contact Us button isn’t clickable
  • When the Contact Us button was visible, I tried to click it but nothing happened (see Figure 1). That’s because you have to click on the words contact us (as in Figure 2). Clicking on the box around the text does nothing.

    But when you hover your cursor over the box, it turns blue, implying that you can click it. Fucking hell.

  • Shitty annoying popups
  • I managed to reach the Contact Us page. As I filled in the form, an eager popup appeared called “INSTANTS FAQS”.

    Instants? With an s? So Ticketmaster is breaking the rules of English grammar now?

  • Dropdown box has only one option in it
  • There’s a dropdown box wth only has one option in it. Why not just get rid of this box altogether?

  • Another annoying popup box
  • Suddenly another INSTANTS FAQS popup box appeared.

    That’s two popup boxes now. Another shitty thing is that the second popup box blocks the view of the next part of the form:

  • Ticketmaster wants my event name, event venue, event date…
  • Next the form wants to know my booking reference, which is fair enough. But it also wants to know the event name, the event venue and the event date! Surely Ticketmaster should be able to find this information from the booking reference? Dealing with Ticketmaster is like dealing with a person with dementia.

  • A third popup box
  • When I tried to enter the Event Name, another INSTANTS FAQS popup box appeared. This one said, “Why can’t I print off my Ticketfast tickets?” Well, I don’t know. Is it because your website is shit?

  • I entered my new address in the wrong place
  • Earlier, I had to fill in my new address:

    But just now I realised I was supposed to enter my old address here, not my new address. I only know this because there’s a section further down called “New Address Line Details”:

  • “Question”
  • The last box says ‘Question’. What question? I’m not asking a question, I’m trying to change my address. Perhaps the question is “Why is this site so shit?”

  • A fourth popup box
  • When I tried to fill in the ‘Question’ box, another one of the motherflipping INSTANTS FAQS boxes appeared. Ticketmaster must really want you to read the FAQs, probably to lighten the burden on their customer support team.

  • “Submit your question”
  • The submit box says SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION. What question? I’m just trying to change my address.

  • A fifth popup box
  • I clicked SUBMIT YOUR QUESTION and another popup box appeared. It said BEFORE YOU CONTINUE, DO ANY OF THESE HELP? No they don’t bloody help so just fuck off back to hell and let me submit the form you cunt.

    It’s 2017 – surely by now, a big company like Ticketmaster would have a respectable website, and not this fucking crap?

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