About me

me tiredI was born in 1987, the same year as Black Monday. I’m not saying my birth caused it, but it probably did, like an omen of the birth of the antichrist.

I was born in Birmingham (that’s the Birmingham in England, not the copy-cat in Alabama). The city is a shit-hole basically. It’s neither north nor south, and it has no ties to the outside world except for its Cadbury’s factory, which occassionally exports chocolates in exchange for basic aid.

I’m a member of the species Homo sapiens, though this is where the similarities between me and you end, because unlike you, I’m intelligent and attractive. Indeed, at the age of 14, I looked like the baby of a gay threesome between George Clooney, Johnny Depp and Brad Pitt (though as the picture will attest, my life is currently less Brad Pitt and more the pits. Ha ha).

I was born Paul Pietrzak, but I changed my name by deed poll to Paul Jones at the age of 23.

I’m also known as:

  • Paul Chris Jones
  • greyshark
  • greyshark7 (from when I tried to make an email address but greyshark, greyshark1, greyshark2, greyshark3, greyshark4, greyshark5, and greyshark6 were already taken)
  • Colonel Crapman (my Xbox 360 alias)
  • Merrorinc (my Runescape alias)

So what’s the deal about this blog? Well, basically, I just write about whatever I feel like. It’s a free world, so who’s going to stop me? YOU? Don’t make me laugh. No really, don’t; I have diarrhea, and it comes out a little whenever I laugh. Talk about “shits and giggles”.

Speaking of spreading shit everywhere, here’s some of my shitty post collections:

  • My first time, where I describe my first time taking drugs, having sex, and getting drunk, amongst other fun things.
  • Tales from Bishop Vesey, where I reveal what really happened during my seven years at secondary school.
  • Tales from my dad’s house, where I share amusing incidents that occurred at my family’s home in Birmingham.

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