It was upsetting today because a woman I thought of as a friend wrote to me saying she doesn't want to be friends with me anymore. I asked her why, and she says that I said something that upset her. I asked her for clarification, and she just wrote "I don't have capacity". It is kind of hurtful because she didn't even give me an explanation. I asked another friend what he thought, and he said, "just ignore it, for your own mental health."

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I went to the supermarket and I saw two dads, they're a couple, they're Girlfriend's friends. They were with their daughter. I couldn't remember the daughter's name. Normally I don't speak to them because I try to avoid speaking to anyone I don't have to, but I realised it would be rude not to talk to them, so I said hello. And then I think our conversation went like this:

Me. "How is the baby?" (I looked at her, she was about 1.5 years old). "Ok, she's not a baby anymore."

Dad: "She's good"

Me. "I forgot her name."

Dad: "It's Olivia."

Me. "Olivia? Did you name her after the song?" (There's a famous song in Catalonia called Olivia)

Dad: (laughing nervously) "No."

Me. "Well ok. See you around."

I think he thought I was joking about whether or not he named his daughter after the Catalan pop song "Olivia". I wasn't. I was genuinely curious.

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There is a celebrity mom in 3-year-old's class. When 3-year-old came home from school, I asked him if he saw Celebrity Mom this afternoon. He said "Yes". Girlfriend explained that she had actually spoken to Celebrity Mom after school, and in fact today wasn't the first conversation she's had with Celebrity Mom, it was maybe the third or fourth? I was dumbstruck. I haven't even said a word to Celebrity Mom yet, and yet Girlfriend's here already having multiple conversations with her?

Just yesterday, I said to Girlfriend, "Is it weird I haven't even said a single word to Celebrity Mom yet?", and Girlfriend reassured me it's totally normal, yet here's Girlfriend, already having conversations with her on an almost daily basis, like BFFs.

I actually see Celebrity Mom every morning, but my autism means I don't know what the correct way to greet her, so I just ignore her to avoid saying or doing the wrong thing. Celebrity Mom means a lot to me because I'm a big fan of her music, and I notice her every day and don't know how to approach her, so it's hurtful that Girlfriend has already started making friends with her with ease. It makes the unfairness of being autistic even more obvious. I saw an Instagram video (some Instagram videos help a lot with learning about social interaction) where a guy sees a woman and she briefly looks at him, then the next time they see each other they smile at each other, then the next time they say hello to each other, which is like a revelation to me. ChatGPT says the same thing: 'You don’t need to “start a conversation.” You only need a tiny first move—like a smile or a “Bon dia” when you pass her. Once you’ve done that a couple of times, it’s easier to add a short phrase, like: “Com va?” (How’s it going?)' I didn't know this. Isn't it weird I didn't know this? I think the fact I didn't know it makes it even more clear I am autistic.